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I Like

• Wearing hats. I bought the best wide brimmed straw hat up in Leavenworth, WA this weekend.
• Pink Gerber Daisies. I saw a pot of them at Costco today & was tempted, but they were $20! And an annual!
• Chicken Alfredo on Rice Penne.  I'm eating some right now. :) 
• Chicken, spinach & cheddar sausages from Costco. They are soo good!
• Riding ferries, specifically up in Washington to the various islands. I like Kingston and Friday Harbor and Bainbridge and Anacortis. I like Port Angeles, too. I think I want to go to that area soon. :)
• Camping (in a trailer). Being confined to a small space with my family. I like that.
• Singing hymns with my kids. They hum then later as they play, and it is sooo wonderful!! Kaleb was recently heard humming "This Is My Father's World."
• Getting things for free or very cheap. I am cheap. :) I am so proud of my .34 cent Albertsons trip last week!
• Sewing straight lines on beautiful fabrics. I made basic table cloths out of Laura-Ashley style (but from the clearance rack!) flowery fabrics for my tea party a few weeks back. It made me want to sew more.
• Messy gardens. Thus: "One Lovely Mess"--that is how I thought of the title way back when. I love gardens with plants draping over crooked pathways. I don't have one like that, but I like them. :)
• Wearing skirts. I feel very feminine. (Next, on the list of "I don't like," ironing skirts!). :)
• Nap time/quiet time. Oh. I cherish the time, daily!!!  The boys look at books, Ruby sleeps, 1 or 2 boys might fall asleep, and the house is quiet...that's all that matters...quietness!!
• The sunshine lately.  WONDERFUL!!!
• Hiking in the woods with my family. Poor Karry, Ruby is getting a bit heavy for the hiking backpack or any method of carrying-her-constantly. She is 34 lbs!!  We have very fond memories of our hike through the Redwoods, and this weekend we went hiking in Leavenworth--I love it.
• Drip lines. How does my garden grow? Drip lines!
• My Keyword Study Bible to help me understand what the words actually mean. I was reading in 1 Timothy today and got some new insight, and I really, really like being able to do that!
• The mountains in  Leavenworth, WA and also in Big Fork, MT. SOOOOO BEAUTIFUL!!!
• When people just "drop by." I love that. People don't do that enough. Drop by, people! :)  My neighbor lady, who I know only a little (she lives on the other side of the neighborhood) dropped by this week and I liked that.
• When people call--people don't do that anymore either. Just e-mail. So sad.
• A clean house. I don't have one right now. :) I do love it when it's clean and the sun shines through the blinds, though. My great grandma used to help me make my bed (when she watched us), and then tip the mini blinds just right so the sun would shine on my freshly made bed. I loved it. Sun shining through the windows into a clean home reminds me of her.  I have been organizing everything (multiple projects at once--not so smart :), and so the rooms in our home are messy right now...but soon. :)

That's not all, but I'll stop!!  What do you like??

Homeschooling

This is one topic that I have seen many people get hostile about...Meaning, I say that I am glad I homeschool because of ____ and then they attack and in a rude tone, say something like "you could make that happen if you weren't homeschooling."  The thing is, I wasn't trying to convert these people into homeschoolers. I was simply stating that I'm glad I homeschool.  I'm learning that this is really a defensiveness--maybe they think I won't like them because they don't homeschool? (so they attack?) Maybe they feel called to homeschool but they don't feel up to the task?  Maybe they're struggling with the topic and I just pushed a button by saying I'm glad about the way I do it?  

I'm not going to tell all of you (friends) that you ought to be homeschooling. That is not my purpose in writing this.  I am glad I homeschool, and I will share some reasons why, but it's not to convince everyone who reads this. :) I simply feel like--friends who don't homeschool or who don't plan to homeschool (that I have come across)--don't even want to hear this kind of list (why I'm glad I homeschool).  I feel like this is an area in my life that my non-homeschooling friends would rather I not talk about.  Honestly, lately, I feel very alone in this--like the people around me don't understand and frankly don't care to. When I try to talk about my methods, people get defensive (as if the conversation is all about them?) and then it all feels so awkward. 

So I will list why I am thankful I'm a homeschooling mom. This is not meant to be an attack on friends who do not homeschool! Please, friends, spare the arguments about how I could make all of these things happen even if I wasn't homeschooling. I don't know if people realize how isolated they make a homeschooling mom feel when they preach it like that.... 

Why I am glad I homeschool (a short list, if time permitted it could be so much longer):

• I know their strengths and weaknesses. Isaac is especially great at math and has a hard time with reading. Kaleb doesn't quite get subtraction, but he is reading every word he sees.
  
• Isaac and Noah, especially, are forced to work things out. I'm afraid these boys would not be friends at all if they weren't together all day. Do we have rough moments between these two? Absolutely. But they have to work through them.
  
• I get to cuddle my kids multiple times a day.
  
• They know their baby sister very well--she's not just someone they see in the afternoons and evenings.
  
• I can teach them about God in every single subject.  
  
• When I teach them about other religions (like the Egyptians and the sun god, etc.), I can call them "pretend gods," and remind them that we serve the "One, True God."
• Our mornings don't have to be rushed. I like getting the school day started, but I don't have to hurry them out the door. Their last remembrence of me every morning is not me pushing them out the door, yelling "get on your shoes! get your bakcpack!"
• They have homemade lunches. No packaged snacks. No capri suns. 
• I can teach them about whatever is on my mind. I do follow a curriculum, but I can get creative with it!  
• Because I am their teacher, I am so used to teaching them, literally, every moment becomes a teaching moment. We're in the car--and I'm teaching them what the name of our president is, and the one before that, and the one before that and before that. 
• I am especially thankful that I am homeschooling (and plan to continue homeschooling) Noah. He has gone to "Early Intervention" 2 days a week this year. While I have appreciated insight from his teacher, I do not like the attitudes I've seen Noah pick up. He is drawn to the "bad" kids. He comes home and displays the same kinds of behaviors he has witnessed in other kids (like swearing, for example).  While he is young, at least, I would like his exposure to such "bad kids" to be minimal so that he gets so used to doing things "good." 
• I've been watching people with older children, and people whose kids are now adults.  It seems like within mainstream Christianity, it's just a given that one out of 3 kids in a family will not walk with the Lord as a young adult.  This is pretty much the norm.  I'm not liking this.  And while I know I cannot secure for my kids a strong faith, I am seeing different odds among homeschoolers. Particularly more conservative homeschoolers. I asked a young lady I know who was homeschooled (who was not raised ultra conservative) if her friends who were raised in the ultra-conservative households are all walking with the Lord. Yes--she couldn't think of one who wasn't. They're not all ultra-conservative like their parents (but that's ok--was that the goal?), but none of them have walked away from their faith as young adults.  I see people like Mike & Debbie Pearl (No Greater Joy) whose adult children come around them and run a business with them--they're all walking with the Lord--they all firmly believe what their parents are teaching.  I see a lot of adult friends (who were not homeschooled) who are not close to their parents, who do not agree with the way their parents did things, and who would never in their lifetime want to work alongside their parents.  This speaks loudly to me.  I remember high school youth group--there were some kids strong in their faith, but a whole lot of "companions of fools" and who knows where their faith is at now?  Mainstream youth groups are pretty much all like that--a few strong, a lot not-so-strong, and really, who knows where our kids will end up on that spectrum? I guess this is the main reason, for my family, I'm glad that I homeschool.  I know that homeschooling will not for sure produce young adults who walk with the Lord. I know that. I know a once-homeschooled woman who decided not to walk with the Lord (one, though--out of all of the homeschoolers I've ever known).  Every day as I teach my kids, I'm not just teaching them about math and phonics--I am discipling them.  That I have this freedom is one of the greatest reasons I am glad I homeschool.
• Oh, and, when they want to (like today), they can sleep in. We got back from a weekend camping trip at about 6 pm last night, unpacked the trailer (they were such good helpers!), cleaned it out, made dinner, drove the trailer back to the storage place, ate dinner, gave them showers & baths, and got them to bed later than usual. It's 7:30 and they don't have any buses waiting for them. I can make sure they're well-rested so that when we read The Burgess Bird Book and look at the birds in our backyard today, they'll be alert. :)

I am really longing friendships with people who "get" what I'm saying here and don't take personal offense to it all....Why does it have to be a battle?  Why can't I share that I enjoy the way I'm doing things and have others just respect that and be kind about it?  This is a major part of who I am--it's what I do all day--if I can't talk about it without friends treating me like I just mentioned the forbidden topic, I really start feeling like they just don't like *me.*  Because afterall, I am a homeschooler....

Another Frugal Dinner Tonight!

I'd purchased 2 .79/lb chickens this week for around $4.50 each. We had one last night (I mentioned it before), we had some for lunch today, I froze a whole meal's worth of shredded chicken, and I made 5 jars of chicken stock (in the crockpot overnight last night)!  That was chicken #1!! :)

Karry handled dinner tonight with chicken #2. :) He simply put the chicken in the pan (after taking the insides out, etc.) and poured a bottle of the *free* Kraft bbq sauce I got last week & baked it in the oven. So $4.50 in chicken + free sauce. :) We had leftover white rice from last night, and leftover salad from 2 nights ago. WA LA! Dinner! :)  I will freeze more meat, and we'll have more for lunch tomorrow, and I'll make more stock!  

I figure, out of $9 worth of chicken, we'll get 8 meals (fresh=dinner 2 nights, lunch 2 days, frozen=2 dinners, stock=at least 2 nice pots full of soup), so that's $1.13 per meal (plus side dishes, but you know what I mean!). :)

Yahoooooo! :)

Holding time today

Went SO smoothly!!! She didn't kick and scream and bite and scratch!  Praise for progress!  (I will probably see it again, I'm just so thankful for a calm holding time THIS day!). :) She did try to push away at first and didn't want to cuddle in. But it only lasted about 30 min today, and she very quickly moved to cuddling in, blowing kisses at me and giggling. I said "are you ready to go to nap now?" and she said "no" and she cuddled more. That's goood!!! :) :) :)

Is it normal that Ruby doesn't like to give kisses? She learned how at one point and liked slobbering on everyone's cheeks (me, Karry, and her brothers, that is). Now she won't. She turns her head away and won't give them. Is that normal? I think I was like that as a kid, too, but I don't like to use myself as a gauge for normalcy. :)  (and that word--gauge--is spelled very strangely, I thought it was guage, but both spellings look weird!)  Oh, but she'll kiss the dog--when it's time to "give kisses goodnight," she'll hug all of us and turn her head away, and then she'll go kiss the dog, straight on. What's the deal with that? Any thoughts? :)

1 Saying that has changed life around here

"If they have the gross motor skills to make the mess, they have the gross motor skills to clean the mess."

We heard this at our adoption class, and just remembering this has saved us a lot of headache lately.  It's really common sense, I don't know why we didn't think of it before (we kind of did, but the saying sure helps us remember what situations to apply it to!).

Isaac stuck an empty toilet paper roll in the toilet and tried to flush it tonight (he was just curious). Previously we might have been very frustrated & would have dug it out ourselves. Not today. "Oh, sorry Isaac, you're going to need to get that out."  ;)

I am A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D.!!

From Albertsons, total bill = .34 cents!!!  That's all!! All online coupons (go to coupontom and do searches, and do a search for yoplait kids' coupons). You can do this too! (by tonight!) We won't eat the Triscuits or Wheat Thins, but I will bring them for snacks at church, with the cheap Cheese from last week! Savings (coupons tendered)= $24.91!!! :)  98% savings!!!! :) :) :)  (The cashier said "you're my new role model" :)

Went to Safeway, online coupons except Sweet Baby Rays from 5/10 Oregonian. Total cost= $2.57. You can do it too! Look for Litehouse coupons online, and go to Safeway.com and get the free 1 lb of strawberries coupon! By tonight! :)  Savings =$14.01!! :)

Oh, and my silly girl who kept saying "a-teez!" (Cheese!) because she saw me taking pictures. OH she is SO cute. :)

Frugal dinners this week~~

Tonight-.79/lb whole chicken from the Safeway sale this week, cooked all day in the crockpot with sage, basil and other spices, topped off with ham (on sale at Safeway) and havarti cheese (got at Costco 3 wks ago) in the last hour. Served with white rice and frozen green beans.

Last night-Salad (Fresh Express, .50, from Freddys last week) toped with ham (Safeway), Tillamook cheddar ($3.99/baby loaf last week, FM), some of the havarti, cucumbers (leftover from my tea party), and Litehouse salad dressing (sale from Safeway). It was very filling and yummy!!!

*MORE* Savings!! :)

On the way to t-ball I got some stuff at Rite Aid:

2 pks of bandaids, buy 1 get 1 50% off, plus 2 .50 off coupons ($4.23 for 2 pks)

Lipton Iced Tea, $2.99, -.50 coupon, ($2.49 for 100 bags of tea)

Jergens Natural Glow Foaming Lotion (Self-tanner) $6.74 -$2 coupon ($4.74--this is $7.99 on Target.com right now!!!) :) :) (oh, and it has good reviews) (oh, and I'm reeeeally white, so I can use this :)

1 pkg size 5 Huggies, 46 ct., $13.99 .30/diaper

-$5 coupon off of the whole purchase (If this was only off the diapers, it would make them .20/diaper, and they're .28 per diaper at Costco) (this coupon was at Riteaid.com)

total = $20.45

After t-ball, I stopped at Safeway. THIS was amazing. Check it out:

~Oscar Mayer Hot Dogs, $1.98 for 2 packs (from ad), -$1 coupon (from paper), -$1 doubler, FREE!

~2 whole chickens, Foster Farms, .79/lb= $8.77

~Primo Taglio sliced ham, 1.18 lbs, $6.25 (if it was exactly 1 lb it would've ben $4.99/lb because of the $2 off 1 lb coupon. But they gave me 1.18 lbs, so it was $5.29/lb :()

I didn't plan on this part, but I saw the deal in the store & knew I had the coupons (I've been watching for a deal on this):

~Litehouse ranch dressing (my favorite! Refrigerated dressing--due in Sept though!). They were $4.69 each, buy 1 get 1 free, and there was a .55 off coupon on each one, and I had a $1 off 2 coupon, and another $1 doubler. So I bought 4 bottles, $5.28 total, $1.32 each!!!

Total at Safeway= $19.18

Fun, fun, fun!!!! :)  The Litehouse coupons were online somewhere (I'm not good at keeping those links, I find them, print them, use them, forget them!!) :)  You can go to your Safeway by Tues evening and do the same deal. And the hotdogs, too--well--if you got the paper on 5/10 you could get them for free. If not, you could get 2 packs for $1.98, which isn't too shabby. :)

Savings + Chocolate

Ok, first the chocolate part. I love chocolate. There are not many kinds of chocolate I can have that are nut free and wheat free. I can have Hershey Kisses, Rolos, Mini Cadbury Eggs (but not the big ones), oh and I also really like the Candy Cane Hershey Kisses and the pink, green and yellow mints that you can get at a baby shower. You know what I mean? Ok--so when I find them on sale, I buy them (or when they're in season, whichever comes first). When I feel like my blood sugar is a bit low, I munch--just a bit--in moderation.  I have a couple of secret stashes that aren't so secret anymore.  Suddenly, I'm finding, every little bag of chocolate/candy in this house is empty.  I just have to ask one kid "Kaleb, did you eat these?" and he ducks his head down and whines like a baby "yes..."  Part of me is mad (I can't get the mini cadbury eggs or the candy cane hershey kisses for a long time now--I savor them over the months, only eating a little at a time).  Part of me is worried (is this becoming an obsession with him??).  He dug into a $3.50 package full of dark melting chocolate (from a candy making store) that was intended for use on something for my tea party.  He's been saving up quarters (doing jobs to earn them) so that he could buy a stuffed animal he wanted (like he needs another one), and I decided to start making him pay me for the chocolates he takes.  So today, I found my bag of Rolos was empty, and he handed me another quarter from his piggy bank (I know, it doesn't quite cover the whole bag--but he's getting the concept)...He said, pouting, "I wish I could buy my own chocolate."  I told him that maybe if he stops eating mine, he can save up his money to buy some.  Argh...Am I handling this right?  Am I making too big of a deal out of this?  Mind you, this is the kid that, until this last year (6 years old), he has touched every single birthday cake I've made (for anyone) and destroyed a part of the frosting because he just "couldn't wait."  Sweets are very, very, very tempting to him.  Any suggestions??  

Ok, now for the savings part!!  This is exciting! (Much more exciting than disappearing chocolate!). :)  I have been watching the deals, as I mentioned in a previous post. Seriously, check out all of my links on Shop.Eat.Live.!  

I went to Albertsons today, and this is what I got:

~2 boxes of Yopliat Yogurts (Dora and Diego, at the kids' request), $1.50 each, -$1.50 and -$1.50 coupons (free!)

~2 boxes of Gogurt Yogurts, $1.50 each -$1.00 on 2 ($2! total!)

~1 Coffeemate Creamer, $1.67 -$1 coupon, -$1 double  (.33 overage)

~3 Kraft Cream Cheeses @ .88 each, -$1 on 2, -$1 doubler (.64 for 3!)

~2 Hormel Lunch Meats (Gluten free, nitrate free, etc.), I usually pay $3.50 each for these--they were bogo at $4.99, so 2 packs for $4.99 (I wish there was a coupon, too!) :)

TOTAL BILL = $7.30

the coupons were from online (I did searches for "Yoplait Coupon," etc.) and from the paper this week. You can do it to! By tomorrow!

Then, Target:

~Coppertone travel size sunscreen, .99 -$1 coupon (online) = .01 overage

~Starbucks Coffee, $7.04 -$1 mfg coupon (online) = $6.04

~Aquafresh Whitening Toothpaste, $3.69 start price, -$1 Target coupon (online), -$1 Aquafresh coupon (Aquafresh site), = $1.69

~Pupperoni Dog Treats, 2 packages, $4.78 -1 Target coupon, $1 off 2, and 2 mfg coupons (all online, Pupperoni site & Target site), $1.50 and $2 off =.28 for 2 packs!!

Total for that stuff = $8

THEN! At Target, still, I found some major makeup deals!!  It was on the end cap at Wilsconville Target. I am running out of some of my makeup basics, and was looking at reviews online the other day (I hate buying makeup and throwing it away, so I read reviews :). I was reading about a Target brand called Sonia Kashuk, which reviewers compared to Bare Minerals (only, $12 for a foundation set instead of $50+!). Lots of reviewers like the stuff, it's very highly rated. WELL! I found lip gloss, blush, cheek powder, lip pens, bronzer, etc.,. all from $1.48 to $2.74 each, and they are usually $7.99 + each!!!  WOW!  I was SO pleased to find these! I was first excited to read the reviews and find I could get something 1/5 of the cost of Bare Minerals but highly rated--and then--wowie zowie, even cheaper! :)  Check it out! :)

I hope you're all inspired by that!  Yahoo!  I am!!  Walgreens is next! :)

OH! And P.S. I have been signing up for free samples every single day (oh, there are *many* available online!!), AND at least a few days a week I am spending 15-30 minutes on surveys. I just got my first $5 check in the mail for doing surveys, and I have one for $5.50 on the way. I've only been doing those for maybe 2-3 weeks, and I've got other sites racked up but can't cash out until like $25 or so. The one I love, Opinion Outpost, is a high paying ($2.50 or so per survey) site and you can cash out at $5. Check it out. :)  OH, AND, are you guys using Swagbucks?  I've got 9 swagbucks saved up already. check it out!! :) (btw if you want to sign up and say I directed you there, I'll get swagbucks :) The e-mail I use for that is seriousmoms at gmail dot com. That's my survey e-mail address. :)

HAVE FUN! :)

Let Me Explain Myself... :)

The video & the statistics have been on my mind a lot lately. Last night we had a t-ball game in Hubbard and then went to the Wal-Mart in Woodburn: 2 ares that many feel are being "over-run" with Hispanics. In Wal-Mart, I overheard a white man speak rudely to a Hispanic man. I don't like this. I don't think that these towns are being "over-run." They have the right to live there, or in Canby with us, or in any other town around here they want. And if their birthrate is higher than that of those with European ancestry (I suspect it is), great! Props to them! They're living out Scripture and filling their quivers with many little arrows.  My guess is that there could be an anti-Mexicans in America video that looks something similar to the one I posted on here (showing how in 35 years America will be mostly Mexican).  And that would bug me.

The culture thing is bugging me too. Culture changes!  The boys and I have been reading "Our Island Story" about Great Britain. Did Great Britain change every time a new Roman ruler tried to over-take it? Certainly. When Julius Caesar brought his 80 ships--and then 800 ships--and killed many of Great Britain's men--oh yes, the culture changed! When Christopher Columbus came to America, didn't that change the culture? And then the settlers moving here--that changed it, right? And those ships full of Pilgrims, bringing their conservative views to the Native Americans who'd had their own religious views for years (wrong ones, but a history, none the less)...that changed the culture of this country.  And slave trade--changed the culture of America, and Africa.  And every other type of Immigration that's happened in this country. My sister-in-law is Romanian, I have a good friend who is Ukrainian--I suspect higher birthrates in both of these nationalities as well--and they have brought change to the American culture, I am sure.  So I'm not afraid of cultural change.

I'm not wanting to single out a people group, either. I don't want all of you, after seeing that video, to walk down the street and look at every tan-colored (potentially Middle Eastern) person with suspicion.  I don't want them to be treated rudely or avoided.  They are human beings and they need our compassion and friendliness just like everybody else.

My thoughts are, though, that we need to be open-eyed about the fundamental religious beliefs and political beliefs of Islam. Karry said, the other day, the political beliefs of Islam are "not compatible with democracy" or "with the civilized world," perhaps.  I think we need to be aware that, it is true, 2/3 of the mosques within our country are teaching that all of America needs to be converted to Islam. They are teaching that non-Muslims should be taxed and give their money to Muslim authorities. They are teaching that our government officials should all be Muslim. They are teaching that if anybody tries to convert a Muslim, they should be killed. This is Sharai law (the law with multiple spellings on the internet, so I don't know how to spell it!). They believe that 9/11 was justified. They believe that *more* attacks like this should happen within this country.  Not all Muslims, for sure. But 2/3 of the ones in our country are being taught this kind of propaganda. This, friends, is what I think we ought to be aware of.

Not only that, but I think that the "cultural jihad" going on doesn't just involve the birthrates. I think it involves a desensitizing of the American public to the beliefs of Islam. We're told that it's a peaceful religion. Please, friends, look up articles about all of those other countries where the Muslim birthrate has increased & overtaken. How peaceful do these countries look? Are there any mostly-Muslim countries that are peaceful? I would like to know, really.

In recent days, it seems like anyone who believes in Islam is praised in the news as if they are some great, spiritual person. I have seen news stories about many Americans converting to Islam, and it is played up like this is such a great thing.  This is what the radical Muslim leaders want--they want us all to be ok with Islam and to believe it is peaceful and wonderful.  I just think we all need to be aware that it's not.

Do I think that Christians ought to have more babies? ABSOLUTELY!  They are BLESSINGS, people!  And "be fruitful and multiply" was God's 1st command to His people. I don't think it was a mere suggestion: "you know, if you want to--if it's convenient for you--if your wisdom, which y'all think is greater than Mine, leads you to--if you have enough money--if you believe I'll really provide enough resources for those children."  ETC. No. God said to fill the earth. God said to be fruitful and increase our numbers. As a culture, we're not increasing our numbers....We're not obeying God.  

Is parenting hard work? Oh yes! Is it expensive? Can be. Does it take up all of your time, your energy, , and everything else in you? For sure. Does increasing your family size do this even more? I'd say so--though not entirely more than 1 or 2 kids already does.  But here's what I'm learning as a mom: little by little, I am learning to *not be selfish* in ways I never would have learned had I not had children.  I am learning to deal with my own inadequacies and my sin nature as I see them stare me in the face in my children. :) I am learning to sacrifice my own desires because these other people in my life are more important. I think it would be hard to learn this in any other kind of situation. Really. I'm learning how to speak calmly and lovingly to people who drive me nuts sometimes. :)  I am learning how to pour all of me into other people. I never would have learned this outside of being a mom. It's hard work. It's challenging. It's such a blessing though. Really.  Really!

That's all. I hope I explained myself well enough. There's a lot to say about this. I can already think of more, but I'll spare you all an even longer blog post!! :)

Joy in Pain

Isn't she beautiful? She is so precious to me and brings joy to my life!  It is hard to believe that just 30 min ago, she was kicking, screaming, bit me, scratched me, and dug her fingernails into me! (really, I have scars to prove it! I'll spare you from pictures of that! :).  

I just did a "holding time" with Ruby--she wore herself out, and we'll finish it as soon as she wakes up. When I first heard of "holding time," I thought it was a little crazy. You might when you read this, too.  What I had been taught previously was that a child who is having a temper tantrum needs to be stopped--with discipline...And while that might work for most kids, who are properly attached to their parents, for some kids (adopted kids, kids who had medical issues early on, autistic kids, etc., etc., etc.), it doesn't work.  These kids try to show control in any way they can. What can they control? Their voice, for one--no matter what you do, you can't stop them from screaming.  Their eating--you can't force them to swallow anything, or to stop spitting up.  Their poop is another thing they can control (oh the joys--we have seen it :).  So while screaming is horrible, and the eating issues are a pain, I'd rather deal with the first two kinds of "control issues" than the latter. :)

So with holding time, instead of discipline for a tantrum, you pick the child up, restrain them in a way that they cannot get out, and hold them. And let them have their tantrum. Yes. And remind them over and over "I am a strong Mommy. Good thing God gave you such a strong Mommy."  If they are verbal, they will yell at you--they will say things like "you're not strong!" or "I hate you!" or "I want a different family." Don't take it personally.  Hold them until they calm down and they can touch you gently. If they fall asleep, either keep holding them or stay right next to them so that you can start it up again until they really calm down.

I have seen extreme success with this method with Noah.  Discipline for tantrums does *nothing* for him. He is trying to show control because he does not feel safe. When I hold him like that, I am protecting him, even from himself. His behaviors (when he is raging) can become destructive. Is it hard to hold a child down like that when they are upset?  OH YES.  OH MY, YES!  It's physically taxing.  Noah's holding times used to last 1 hr or more. Now they are down to about 20 min or maybe even less.

When it ends, you'll know, because the child can touch your face gently.  Then you're supposed to hold them and bond with them and make eye contact and remind them that they're loved and they're in their forever family, and all of that jazz. :)

Whether Ruby has Reactive Attachment Disorder or not is debatable, but recently I have been more and more suspicious.  She screams when anybody else comes into our home. She freaks out in public places (sometimes) and gets super, super, super clingy. She's become quite the little controller--she demands what she wants for lunch, and then throws her plate if she doesn't get what she wants. That is when I say "all done" and get her out of the high chair.  Then she throws herself on the floor and bangs her head against whatever is there (by throwing herself back), and kicks, and screams, and throws one ugly tantrum!  

That is where we began today.  There are lots of ways that parents might handle that situation. A spanking? A time out? Ignore it? Give her what she wants because the screaming is unbearable? What would you all do? (to put you on the spot!). :)  Today I picked her up and held her (restrained, but not hurting her--just holding her on my lap, holding her hands, her legs, keeping her in my lap).  This was the first time I've done a holding time with Ruby. My recent suspicions of RAD make me think that I ought to try it with her. (oh, and one more symptom--she does not like to cuddle unless she initiates it. She will not hug back unless she decided to hug in the first place).  

SO, I held her. She kicked. She screamed. She bit my arm. She tried to bite my hands multiple times. She bit her own arm (ouch!). She banged her head (and all of those pretty, but hard bobble pony holders) on my neck. She scratched my neck. She dug her fingernails into my skin, lots of times.  She was *much* harder to do a holding time with than Noah has ever been!!  Wow. She really didn't like it. And that was the biggest sign to me of all, *she needs this!!!*  

My arm hurts, but I'm joyful right now. I could easily be angry, worn out, and grumpy from all of this. I wanted a nap today, not a wrestling match with an almost 2 year old.  But I am joyful. I am hopeful that suffering through this on a consistent basis will make things better with Ruby--for Ruby, and for everyone else's sake.  I was just saying last night, I'm afraid of what her tantrums will be like if they're still like this when she gets bigger. So we need to handle this. Now. And I'm glad to have a method that works (that I've seen work!). I was just looking through "Holding Time" by Martha G. Welch, MD, again--holding times with autistic kids--every day for 6 weeks--caused these kids to look their moms in the eye, and one kid was suddenly verbal after this! Wow. It really does make a difference! I can have joy because of that. :)

JOY

I am doing exactly what I always wanted to do: I'm a mom. I'm married to a great man. I have a beautiful home to take care of. I'm a teacher--not a one room school house, but we can do school in any room we choose. So I have all this great stuff going--and yet----lately I have not had joy.  

Tonight we read Psalm 68:1-6 at our Home Community Group. The following verses stuck out to me:

"But may the righteous be gland and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful." vs. 3

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds his name is the Lord and rejoice before him." vs. 4

and, "he leads forth the prisoners with singing;" vs. 6.

I remember reading a story called "The Yellow Wallpaper" when I was in college. Anybody else ever read that?  I think I remember a woman feeling like she was in a prison, staying within her home.  Like the stripes on the yellow wallpaper were jail bars....Sometimes I feel like that. Sometimes I feel like my job will never end. Sometimes I really dislike being home and feel like I'm not very free.  

I wish I could just take off and drive somewhere without much thought (you know, packing the sippy cup, enough diapers--oh, and do the boys need a sweatshirt? a coat?)...It takes forever to get out of here with 4 kids (20+ minutes just to get ready for a walk today!).  The laundry takes forever and it's never ending--never ending.  I vacuumed today, but tomorrow there will be cereal, or chips, or something on the carpet.  I work with the boys daily on obeying me. Still, they fight with each other. Still, at least once in the day (or some days, many times throughout the day), they will fuss when I tell them to do something (ugh..fussing gets me), or they will just disobey what I say. 

I love to cook, but sometimes I hate thinking that I have to come up with another meal, yet another day. Sometimes I enjoy the creativity--and sometimes I really don't like having to think about it.  

Lately I've been focused on the negatives around here. I've been complaining. Yes. Complaining.  I have been angry when my kids have disobeyed, or have been slow to get ready to go, or have been fighting, or fussing, or whatever they haven't done that fits into my plan for the day.

I am confessing this right now because I don't want to be an angry mom. I don't want to be a complaining wife. So I'm going to plan to focus on being JOYFUL on this blog for a while. And I think it starts with being THANKFUL.  I really want this verse to represent me:

"..may the righteous be glad and rejoice before God; may they be happy and joyful."

So, today, something I am thankful for and joyful about: God made SUCH beautiful flowers in an amazing variety!  I bought 2 bunches of flowers from Costco for Saturday's tea party and put them in vases around my house, and most are still thriving.  I took pictures, and I want you all to enjoy them too!  Let's be joyful about God's creation! :)

 

This is my favorite green vase, sitting in the family room with my favorite pink flower, and also the carnation I got at the Oregon Garden on Mother's Day.

and my favorite pink flower, up close. Isn't it adorable? 

These are by my kitchen sink and they smell fabulous!!! The little pink one is my favorite one in the bunch (and the white daisies, oh, and the fragrant ones--lilies?). So I wanted that light pink one to face me--I bent the stem a bit and it popped. It won't be pretty like that tomorrow, I ruined it! But I'm happy that I've been able to look at it thus far. :)

These are on my kitchen counter and I think they are just oh so perfectly cute.

These are in my dining room. Pretty, pretty...

These smell fabulous.

In the vase I got for Christmas, very nice. Sitting on the Singer sewing machine in the dining room. :)

These are on my kitchen table. There are two lilac flowers from my yard. My Grandpa Warren, an amazing gardener, always grew lilacs on the side of his house on NE Oregon Street (I miss that house :). When we moved here, I put a lilac bush in the side yard at my house, too. :)

On my nightstand. Another one of the light pink beauties. I really love these flowers. What are they?

Isaac's future kids

He declared today that their names will be:

A$$...he has no clue it's a bad word :)

and

Isaac (not Isaac jr.)

They will both be boys, he says. We asked where he heard of the first name, and he said "I just thinked of it." ;)

Just thought I'd share. :)

This is what I was talking about

again:

Children's children are a crown to the aged,
and parents are the pride of their children.
Proverbs 17:6

Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5

Saving $$ on Groceries!!

Check out my blog Shop.Eat.Live. for links (no blog posts anymore, just links) to other amazing deal finders. Look there for Saving4MyFamily, Saving With Louise, Moms by Heart, Hip to Save, and Budget Bailout--those are the best! :)

I have been spending a lot towards this summer's CSA--$150 per month, which digs into the month's grocery money a lot. I've been using up what we have, doing very little grocery shopping, and our pantry and freezers are getting empty!!  So the dilemma--do I do the coupon thing and get stuff that is not ideal (not organic, totally chemical free products) or do I just get what we can that's organic? Truth be told, the budget can't handle all organic stuff right now (but we'll be getting lots of organic produce this summer!!). Also, I've heard of many, like my friend Celina, and my mom, and my friend Tania, saving lots of $$ on groceries.  LOTS of $$ on groceries....So I decided to check it out!!

I went to Fred Meyer today, and spent a total of $55.52, and here is what I got:

3 bags of Kettle Chips

6 lbs of Tillamook Butter ($1.50 each!!!)

2 boxes of 7th Generation Automatic Dish Soap (powder)--40% off so it was $3.11, and I had 2 $1 off coupons, so $2.11 each. 

1 bottle Pure & Natural hand soap, on clearance for $2.15, and I had a $1 off coupon

4 12-packs of Pepsi--we don't drink pop much, but it's great when we're doing road trips (like we're doing this summer) to keep us awake, and when we have guests over, and for that every-once-in-a-while occasion when we say "I wish I had a Pepsi right now!". They were 4 for $9, plus I had an additional $2 off coupon on pop, so they ended up being $1.75 per 12 pack, or .15 per can! :)

A Sunday paper for the coupons

5 lbs of Fuji, Gala & Braeburn Apples

2 loaves of Tillamook Cheese ($3.99 each)

2 bags of Fresh Express Salad (.50 each)

1 box of ice cream "push up pops", on clearance for $2.29...a gluten free treat for the kids :)

Sockeye Salmon, $8.79 (at $2.99 per lb, and I had them cut into steaks for me!)

Then I went to Albertsons, where I only spent $12.73, but this was a bit trickier. I had to print a bunch of Kraft coupons online and I had to really annoy the cashier and the people behind me in line!!  Here is what I got:

4 bottles of Kraft BBQ Sauce (all free--.70 each + a $1 off coupon on each)

5 Kraft Salad Dressings for .40 each after my coupons & the sale

1 Gray Poupon Mustard, free

4 Kraft Mayo squeeze bottles, .40 each after coupons & sale (1 of them was free)

3 Knudsen Sour Creams (on sale + coupon--for like $1.37 each after that, I think)

36 eggs ($1.50 each 18 pack)

Jennie O Lean Ground Turkey, 20 oz, $1.88 (would have normally been like $5! I got the last 1 there, or I would have bought more!!)

My total savings there was $45.99!! Yahoooo!!!

Supposedly there is a coupon down the sunscreen aisle at Freddy's for $4 off of sunscreen, and there is a particular brand on sale for $3.99--so it's free.  Go get 'em! :)

The Role of Mothers in Society

Ok, one last blog post for the day!  This is it, I promise!

I was reading another post by Doug Phillips and I loved a lot of the quotes. So I'm borrowing them to share with you, because they have me thinking...

Well, we know that the Feminist movement + the Industrial Revolution have changed the face of American families greatly (dads no longer work along side young sons, they go away to work--many moms go away to work too). But back in 1835, Alexis D'Tocqueville (learn how to spell that and you can do well at all Nintendo Jeopardy games, k? :) wrote about the American family. Look what he wrote (this is soo fascinating!!):

"In America, more than anywhere else in the world, care has been taken constantly to trace clearly distinct spheres of action for the two sexes, and both are required to keep in step, but along paths that are never the same."

"Thus the Americans do not think that man and woman have either the duty or the right to perform the same offices, but they show an equal regard for both their respective parts; and though their lot is different, they consider both of them as beings of equal value."

"There are people in Europe who, confounding together the different characteristics of the sexes, would make man and woman into beings not only equal but alike. They could give to both the same functions, impose on both the same duties, and grant to both the same rights; they would mix them in all things — their occupations, their pleasures, their business. It may readily be conceived that by thus attempting to make one sex equal to the other, both are degraded, and from so preposterous a medley of the works of nature nothing could ever result but weak men and disorderly women."

~~OH WHAT A PREDICTION OF WHAT WE FACE TODAY!!!~~

and more:

"As for myself, I do not hesitate to avow that although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what the singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: To the superiority of their women."

Wow. "To the superiority of their women." D'Tocqueville thought that America was such a great country because the women stayed home and took care of their families. This was the "singular prosperity and growing strength" of our country. Not so much anymore, huh?

Lenin, who started the Communist Revolution (it was started by 1 man) wrote less than 100 years ago:

"Housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do. It is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman..."

and

"The building of socialism will begin only when we have achieved the complete equality of women and when we undertake the new work together with women who have been emancipated from that petty stultifying, unproductive work."

and 

"The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor, to liberate them from 'domestic slavery,' to free them from their stupefying [idiotic] and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery. This struggle will be a long one, and it demands a radical reconstruction, both of social technique and of morale. But it will end in the complete triumph of Communism."

Lenin's friend, Trostsky said:

"We need more socialist economic forms. Only under such conditions can we free the family from the functions and cares that now oppress and disintegrate it. Washing must be done by a public laundry, catering by a public restaurant, sewing by a public workshop. Children must be educated by good public teachers who have a real vocation for the work. Then the bond between husband and wife would be freed from everything external and accidental, and the one would cease to absorb the life of the other. Genuine equality would at last be established..."

and one last thought to share from Peter Marshall, a 1950's Scottish American Preacher:

"The modern challenge to motherhood is the eternal challenge — that of being a godly woman. The very phrase sounds strange in our ears. We never hear it now. We hear about every other kind of women — beautiful women, smart women, sophisticated women, career woman, talented women, divorced women, but so seldom do we hear of a godly woman — or of a godly man either, for that matter.

I believe women come nearer fulfilling their God-given function in the home than anywhere else. It is a much nobler thing to be a good wife than to be Miss America. It is a greater achievement to establish a Christian home than it is to produce a second-rate novel filled with filth. It is a far, far better thing in the realm of morals to be old-fashioned than to be ultramodern. The world has enough women who know how to hold their cocktails, who have lost all their illusions and their faith. The world has enough women who know how to be smart.

It needs women who are willing to be simple. The world has enough women who know how to be brilliant. It needs some who will be brave. The world has enough women who are popular. It needs more who are pure. We need women, and men, too, who would rather be morally right that socially correct"

I liked the entire article written by Doug Phillips, check it out!

Warning: Marley & Me is Not a Family Friendly Movie

We just got home from a long day at The Oregon Garden, which was beautiful. We're exhausted (tea party last night, Ruby's big fit today + just hiking around). We decided to stop at one of those Red Box thingys to get a movie to watch with the kids tonight (we are church skippers tonight, btw--we got back into town too late and Ruby was asleep and we were tired too!!). Since we just got a dog, we picked up the movie Marley & Me. We never get movies without looking them up on Screenit. But we did this time. This was declared "The Best Family Film of the Year."  

We were just a few minutes into the movie with the kids (while munching on leftover tea party goodies for dinner!) when we realized that this would not be a good movie for the kids.  I did a quick Screenit search and wowie zowie, if we'd continued with the movie, our kids would have been exposed to:

• Passionate kissing 3x, 1x in a bed
• Girls in bikinis, twice
• at least 5 instances of cleavage
• the dog running through the house with lingerie in her mouth
• the word "humping"
• the phrase "losing his balls"
• the words sex and sexiest, multiple times, and the question "are you having sex?" and the phrase "we haven't had sex in a while" 
• the phrase "get it on"
• the word "boobs"
• a woman telling her husband that there was a naked woman in his bed (herself)
• the main female character removing her clothes, and a camera view of her back and the side of her breast

That was just the "Sex & Nudity," which is rated "Heavy." Note: Karry and I do not usually watch any movies above the "Moderate" level in this category--this is for ourselves...But this is a "family movie."....

Then there are the other topics:

• 2 s words (at least), 1 of bull + the s word
• 6 craps
• 3 hells
• 2 of the other word for donkey, as in "I'm laughing my donkey off" and "donkey kicking!"
• 2 SOB, as in "poor SOB" (not initials)
• 1 d@mn
• 18 instances of the Lord's name being used in vain
• the word "p!ss"
• the word bong
• a woman drinking out of a champagne bottle (the main female character). Not just a glass--drinking the bottle).
• the phrase "drug trade"
• several other instances of alcohol: buying beer at a store, drinking beer, talk of "mimosas", empty beer bottles laying around after a party, a pregnant lady with a wine glass in front of her...
• A man (the main male character) talking about not leaving his wife & his friend asking "what if she doesn't perform her wifely duties?" 

Oh yes. I'd say this is the best family film of the year, wouldn't you?  (notice my sarcasm!). :)

Over Population, Under Population & Little Blessings

Good morning & HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!  I started typing this blog last night (but fell asleep while writing!). Now I'll finish, and what an appropriate day!! :)

~~~

I never bought into the theory of over population--but I was especially convinced that the theory is totally bogus when we drove across our beautiful, mostly empty country 4 years ago.  That's right, mostly empty. 30 miles outside of New York City? Beautiful, empty, flowing land.  Over-population? Right.

I just read Doug Phillip's blog post about over population here. The gist of it is like this: our birth rates are so low these days that we are not replenishing the population. In fact, the population is consistently decreasing. To keep the population going at a steady rate, the average woman needs to have 2.1 children (I'm not sure how .1 works, let me know if you figure that out, k? :).  In 2006 our country's birth rate was exactly at 2.1, and it has been decreasing since then.

I might be understanding this wrong, but according to The CIA World Factbook, it looks like there were 14.8 births to every 1,000 people in the population for that year--and that the ratio of adults in child bearing age was 1:1 male/female. So that would be 14.8 babies per every 500 women of child bearing age--am I right?  

Europe has even less babies being born--they are consistently lower than the 2.1 birth rate, therefore not replacing their own population.  Why is this a problem? The society gets older--the median age is older--there are not enough young workers to support the older folks. This was a good Washington Post article about the topic.

Tonight at my tea party, a friend brought up Muslim birth rates in Europe.  This is from Wikipedia:

According to Omer Taspinar

Today, the Muslim birth rate in Europe is three times higher than the non-Muslim one. If current trends continue, the Muslim population of Europe will nearly double by 2015, while the non-Muslim population will shrink by 3.5 percent.^[17]

According to Esther Pan

By 2050, 1 in 5 Europeans will likely be Muslim.

and Wikipedia also quotes this on a page about so-called Eurabia:

According to the worst-case Eurabian predictions, by the end of the twenty-first century, most of Europe’s cities will be overrun with Arabic-speaking foreign immigrants, much of the continent will be living under Islamic Sharia law and Christianity will have ceased to exist or be reduced to a state of 'dhimmitude' [...] In the nightmare world of Eurabia, the future will become the past once again and Christians and Jews will become oppressed minorities in a sea of Islam; churches and cathedrals will be replaced by mosques and minarets, the call to prayer will echo from Paris to Rotterdam and London and the remnants of 'Judeo-Christian' Europe will have been reduced to small enclaves in a world of bearded Arabic-speakers and burka-clad women.

 At first instinct, Muslims "invading" all of these European countries and multiplying at a greater rate than the general population doesn't bug me--they're human beings, they have the right to live where they want to and reproduce where they want to and how ever much they want to. Cultures change--my friend mentioned that even in 10 years, Italy will no longer be mostly an Italian country. And while that matters in the sense that we'll lose a great culture, in the scheme of things--in light of everything, the culture part doesn't really matter....kind of, and yet, after taking the adoption class last week, I'm more and more aware that when people lose their culture and don't know where they fit any more, there can be much crises in their life....but besides that....

The biggest issue I see with so many Muslims taking over large masses of land is the political beliefs of Islam. This was a really good article:

What is the ultimate goal of the Islamists? 

There are four points. One is to unite Muslims, who are fragmented into different 

countries and faiths, as one political unit. Two is that they will be governed by a caliph— 

one political and religious ruler of the united Muslim world. Three, the area controlled by 

Muslims will be ruled by forms of extreme Shari'ah law. A fourth point, which certainly 

the terrorists share with some others, is that the reunited Muslim political grouping would 

organize to wage war, jihad, against the rest of the world to continue the expansion of 

Islam until it has conquered the whole world. 

But while all would like to export it, not all believe in trying to spread it by war. For the 

moment, they just want to control their own area, the places where they live, and try to 

make sure it's the form of Islam they feel is right. 

Is extremist Islam growing in Europe and North America? 

Certainly in Europe. One of the frightening things about Europe is that the second- and 

third-generation immigrants are much more radical than their parents. You're not getting 

assimilation; you're getting the opposite. In places such as England, the first generation of 

immigrants from Pakistan 30 or 40 years ago came in, got menial jobs, opened shops, and 

were sort of marginalized but relatively peaceful. They wanted to make a success of life. 

The radicals are their children and in some cases even their grandchildren. As time goes 

on in Europe, the Muslim populations are becoming more radical, and, of course, the total 

numbers of Muslims are increasing. This is a frightening phenomenon for Europeans. 

In the United States, the sociology of the Muslim population is very, very different. In 

Europe, many Muslim immigrants are low income, very poor, brought in to do menial 

jobs. In some ways within the society, they fill the slot that illegal immigrants fill in the 

United States. But in the U.S., our Muslim population tends to be highly educated. I think 

more than 60 percent have degrees, and, in general, they do not live in separate 

neighborhoods. Whether radicalism is growing, I don't know. There are indications it is 

among African Americans and in prison populations. 

How does extreme Shari'ah affect Christians when Islamists gain control? 

Almost immediately, there are restrictions on the building or repair of churches or the 

expansion of Christianity. You must stay where you are; you must stay in a subordinate 

position. Second, churches built without permits get destroyed. Third, Christians are 

often accused of blasphemy against Islam or of criticizing Islam. The pressure becomes 

very bad indeed. You get a community that is isolated and marginalized. Preaching the 

gospel to a Muslim is very strongly forbidden. That can get you killed. Or, if a Muslim 

decides to convert to Christianity or, indeed, to any other religion, there's a good chance 

that he or she will be killed as an apostate. 

And, a description of so-called "Moderate Muslims" can be found on this site and also here: 

And then there is the more fundamental fraud of using the 9/11 question as the measure of "who is a radical." Amazing as it sounds, according to Esposito and Mogahed, the proper term for a Muslim who hates America, wants to impose Sharia law, supports suicide bombing, and opposes equal rights for women but does not "completely" justify 9/11 is .  .  . "moderate."

My friend mentioned that she watched a video about this, and in it, a radical Muslim man said something like "we don't need to go to war with Europe. In 10 years we will be the majority in Europe." I am not sharing all of this or thinking about all of this so that we can sit around being afraid of Sharaiah-believing Muslims invading our world.  I am sharing all of this so that we can become aware. Hawaii just created a day when the entire state will celebrate Islam.  There are a lot of things entirely wrong with that, and I could write an entire blog about that subject alone!  I just think we all need to be more aware--2/3 of the mosques in the United States teach the laws of Sharia and 36% of these people believe that the 9/11 attacks were justified.  I think we forget that when one of our states creates a day to celebrate said religion.  The Sharia is not like the Old Testament, where it says to stone an adulterous woman and yet most Christians today don't believe it.  It's not like that.  It is a fundamental, core belief of Islam and is not to be taken lightly. 

So back to the population and how this all relates:

We have some seriously wrong attitudes in our country (in general) about children.  Seriously wrong. People--I would say the majority--believe that children are a burden.  Some believe that if they have children, it will ruin the environment.  Most who do have children have 1, 2, or maybe the accidental 3rd (or the justified 3rd, because they finally got the opposite gender), and then they will be finished, and call this "complete."  Many (SO many) are "waiting" to have children until they've lived life--earned money--gone on vacations--experienced things--only to find that the wife's eggs have died off and they can no longer have children...While I'm not writing to tell y'all how many kids to have, or to dictate how large or small a family should be, I do want to share some things that the Bible says.

Children's children are a crown to the aged, 
       and parents are the pride of their children. 

Proverbs 17:6

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Genesis 1:28

and again:

"Come out of the ark, you and your wife and your sons and their wives. ¹⁷ Bring out every kind of living creature that is with you—the birds, the animals, and all the creatures that move along the ground—so they can multiply on the earth and be fruitful and increase in number upon it."

Genesis 8:16

(God wouldn't say it twice if it wasn't important to Him)

What's that? He said it again?

Then God blessed Noah and his sons, saying to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the earth. 

Genesis 9:1

and again?

As for you, be fruitful and increase in number; multiply on the earth and increase upon it."

Genesis 9:7

and again?

And God said to him, "I am God Almighty ^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} ; be fruitful and increase in number. A nation and a community of nations will come from you, and kings will come from your body.

Genesis 35:11

And just to be clear, we haven't "filled the earth" yet--remember the mostly empty country I mentioned?  That's just our country.  God's first command to His people was to multiply and fill the earth--how much do we believe it?  How much do we live it out?

Our children are like little weaponry against our enemies:

 

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, 
       children a reward from him.

 ⁴ Like arrows in the hands of a warrior 
       are sons born in one's youth.

 ⁵ Blessed is the man 
       whose quiver is full of them. 
       They will not be put to shame 
       when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Psalm 127:3-5

The radical Muslims in Europe get this more than most Christians do...Christianity is declining steadily, while Islam is growing.

At the present rates of change, Islam will become the dominant religion in the world before 2050.

The LORD made his people very fruitful; 
       he made them too numerous for their foes,

Psalm 105:24

The rapid expansion of Islam worldwide, due primarily to the disparity between Muslim and Christian birth rates.

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine 
       within your house; 
       your sons will be like olive shoots 
       around your table.

Thus is the man blessed 
       who fears the LORD.

Psalm 128:3-4

Yes indeed, the man who fears the Lord and has a fruitful vine and olive shoots in his home is very, very, very blessed.

but the Israelites were fruitful and multiplied greatly and became exceedingly numerous, so that the land was filled with them.

Exodus 1:7

Wouldn't it be wonderful if Exodus 1:7 was true of Believers today? But instead, the following verses are true for the Christian community:

¹⁰ " 'Your mother was like a vine in your vineyard
       planted by the water; 
       it was fruitful and full of branches 
       because of abundant water.

 ¹¹ Its branches were strong, 
       fit for a ruler's scepter. 
       It towered high 
       above the thick foliage, 
       conspicuous for its height 
       and for its many branches.

 ¹² But it was uprooted in fury 
       and thrown to the ground. 
       The east wind made it shrivel, 
       it was stripped of its fruit; 
       its strong branches withered 
       and fire consumed them.

 ¹³ Now it is planted in the desert, 
       in a dry and thirsty land.

 ¹⁴ Fire spread from one of its main ^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} branches 
       and consumed its fruit. 
       No strong branch is left on it 
       fit for a ruler's scepter.' 
      This is a lament and is to be used as a lament."

Ezekiel 19

Job 18:

He has no offspring or descendants among his people, 
       no survivor where once he lived.

 ²⁰ Men of the west are appalled at his fate; 
       men of the east are seized with horror.

 ²¹ Surely such is the dwelling of an evil man; 
       such is the place of one who knows not God."

Isaiah 48:

This is what the LORD says— 
       your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 
       "I am the LORD your God, 
       who teaches you what is best for you, 
       who directs you in the way you should go.

 ¹⁸ If only you had paid attention to my commands, 
       your peace would have been like a river, 
       your righteousness like the waves of the sea.

 ¹⁹ Your descendants would have been like the sand, 
       your children like its numberless grains; 
       their name would never be cut off 
       nor destroyed from before me."

Our generation is a stubborn generation just like Israel when God was talking to them in those verses.  We think we have to make a lot of money to be fruitful. We don't trust that we have a God who gives and takes away.  We think that having more children will use up our water supply, and our land and that the quality of life will be diminished.  We forget that God told us to fill the earth.  

I love this quote:

"The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing. But in our culture we apply for a curse and reject blessings. Something is wrong with this picture." -Doug Phillips, Vision Forum

Now, as Isaac said to Jacob;

May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples.

Genesis 28:3

:)

I love my Ruby!!!

OH she is just SO cute! We were watching a cartoon all together, and there was a little music video thing with kids dancing, and the words were "dance, dance, dance," and Ruby started moving on the couch--and she just could not stay on the couch. She had to climb down and start dancing.  That is one reason I love my Ruby! She's such a natural little dancer. She loves all music, but I think her favorites include swing, country, and anything Toby Mac. :)

Collections

Over the past few months, I've been organizing cupboards and closets: the pantry, the entry way closet, the boys' closet, Ruby's closet, the laundry room closet, our closet, and most recently, my craft room (which is a walk in closet).  I've realized that I am a collector--of things I didn't know I collected.  I'm going to share with you what I've collected (even though this is embarrassing to admit!) because I'm hoping you'll realize that you're a collector too!  I am beginning to understand that part of being a good steward includes keeping my home semi-organized so that I know what I have and I don't buy 2--or 20 of the same item. :)  

So, after much organizing, this is what I have collected in my home:

~~baby girl clothes (way more than she needed, what was I thinking?)

~~bibs (oh my!)

~~seeds and bulbs (they are way too easy to collect--I had collections growing in 3 different places and had no clue--what a dumb thing to collect, since they get OLD!) :)

~~shoes (I wear 3 pairs often and have about 40 more--ok, I don't really know how many more--but more than I wear)

~~cookie cutters (you never know when you'll need to make 50 different shapes of cookies, right?)

~~decorative icings (apparently they go on clearance a lot--and I do like decorating cookies with my kids--but they get old, too)

~~canning jars (I picked up about 6 boxes full at a garage sale 8 years ago, and they've moved with us ever since...I can't part with them...I WILL use them, someday, right?)

~~my kids' art work (I've come up with a solution for that--I'll share someday :)

~~fabric remnants and sale fabric (I am a hopeful seamstress at best--and yet I collect)

~~scrapbooking paper (oh, THIS is embarrassing--I probably have more than I will ever use!!)

~~cookbooks (who needs them these days? I don't use them anymore--they don't need to take up 2 shelves!)

~~books in general (about parenting or homemaking, especially)

~~toys (we have tooo many!!)

~~picture frames (for those pictures I will someday hang on the wall--garage sale finds, etc.)

~~hopeful projects (gold picture frames I was going to spray paint white--a shelf, an old window, my poor husband and "his space"--the garage)

~~travel size bottles of shampoo, etc. (I get them from every hotel, especially the Bath & Body Works ones. I save them for when we have guests spend the night. I always have more than we actually use).

~~phonics workbooks, math workbooks, etc. (funny thing is, I'm sort of an anti-workbook homeschool mom...ha! well, the kids like workbooks. They use them almost like coloring books and will complete a phonics book in one sitting--so I guess we use them :) I find them for 10 cents each at garage sales with maybe 1 page written on already--and people give them to me, like I need more :))

~~pencils and pens (and yet I never have enough :)

~~papers (oh--I have too many papers...)

~~ribbon (you know you always need more)

~~creamers (ok, this is a sort-of-intentional collection. I love cute creamer containers, and I use them to put syrup in for a fancy looking breakfast...:)

~~table cloths (y'all need like 5 red table cloths for Christmas, right? :) I've actually used them all at once, but it just looks like a lot!)

~~plastic containers for organizing (again, my poor husband and his space--need a rubbermaid container, a plastic "shoe" box, or any other size of a plastic container? I've probably got an extra--or 2. :)

~~kids' games (it looks like we must play them daily) :)

~~paint (I've bought too much for particular rooms, and I've picked up the cheap pre-mixed stuff with ideas of where to use it, but haven't done it yet...anyone need paint? We've got lots of Devine Oak or Oat or something like that (ok, matched--not Devine paint--but the color of it). :)

Ok, there's MY list, where's YOURS? You're tagged!  What do you collect?  Clean your closets out and SEE!! :)

Adoption Class + Random Part 2 :)

~~Our teacher for this class is awesome. She's animated and hillarious and would do great at Comedy Sportz. :) She's also incredibly knowledgeable and she's passionate about these kids. That rocks.

~~Thank you to the owners of the Corbett Fish House for having gluten free fish & chips and clam chowder, THAT ROCKS! AND--to the owners of the Coffee Plant, next door, for having GF pastries and the bag of pretzels I was able to buy yesterday. There are snacks at the back of the room in our class, but they're all gluten loaded. For an all day class, it was super duper nice to find gf goodies.

~~Also a big thanks to PF Changs for gf soy sauce. We went to dinner last night and sat among the prom folks. :) I love the current prom dress trends, btw. Very Jane Austen-ish.

~~Got some Alice Crocs in the color of "Ruby" for my sweet Ruby last night, too. I'd been eyeing them online, so we went in the oh-so-croc-smelling store and got her some (with little yellow sunflower jibbits). :)

~~And on a more serious note, I'm very, very bothered when I hear comments like this:  "why would anyone adopt from another country, there are so many kids here?"  True. There are lots of kids here. There are also lots of kids THERE (wherever there is). I liken it to the question "why would anyone want to go be a missionary? Just stay right here and be a missionary."  Alrighty--that's what God calls some people to, for sure--but God calls people to leave this place (you know, the whole Great Commission), too!  I really dislike the "let's look out for our own, and only our own" prideful attitude that some people have.  All the kids out there in this world are God's kids and they were all created by Him and they all deserve a loving home, and food, and clothing, etc.  We're called to reach out to the orphans and widows, and the verse doesn't say "oh, by the way, make sure you only stay within your country when you do this." :)

~~Ok, back to lighter notes. Isaac has lost TWO teeth at my parents' house!!  The first night because he "wiggled it really fast." :) The second one was because he ate a popcorn ball. Now he wants to eat more sticky foods, and Kaleb and Noah want Grandma to give me the recipe for those popcorn balls so that they can lose teeth too. :)  I teased my dad when he asked me how much the tooth fairy gives in our house. I said "1 dollar, but I'm pretty sure the tooth fairy only has 20's in her purse at your house." :) :)  

~~We moved into this house 3 years ago and I painted a farm mural on one of the walls in the boys' room. I love it. It took hours. I am in the mood to paint another mural soon. :)  Anyways, the boys missed the painting in their old room, where I'd painted the walls light blue, painted white clouds all over, and I'd stuck up airplane "wallies". (oh, and we had a battery powered airplane hanging from the ceiling that could fly in a circle! We found it for $5 at a flight museum!). :) They missed the clouds most of all.  So last night, to surprise them, I painted white clouds in the blue sky on their farm mural.  I'm not crazy about them. I loved painting them. Painting clouds on a wall is VERY, VERY fun, IMHO. :)  But I think the scale is all wrong. I like painting really big white fluffly clouds--but then I look down at the John Deer tractor I painted 3 years ago, and it's tiny compared to those clouds. So it's not right.  But it doesn't matter, they will love it.  I need to swallow my design pride and let them have their clouds. :)

~~I'm having a tea party for ladies to celebrate their moms or being a mom (if they're a mom) next Saturday night.  Anyone who didn't rsvp, do so! Anyone who didn't get in an invite, it wasn't because I was excluding you, my brain is just really foggy, so shoot me an e-mail! :)  

~~My smarty pants husband (I say that with love :) helped figure out some of my technical issues with Serious Moms last night.  Maybe someday in the near future, there will be an all new, better, Serious Moms with rss feeds and comment forms like a blog, but oh-so-huge and wonderful. :)  Did I mention I'm a dreamer? :)

~~Gotta figure out some stuff for the tea party!!  And go to day 3 of the adoption class, which will last all day again today (the flyer we had said that it started at 1 today, we were really excited about a free morning w/no kids, but then the teacher kept saying "we'll get to that tomorrow" about really interesting stuff, and both of us were wondering how she was going to cover all of that in 4 hrs time! We found out that we had an old flyer, the class starts in the morning again. :)

Adoption Class + Random :)

Karry and I are enrolled in an adoption class this weekend--it's for adopting through the state foster care system, and this class is the first step towards a certification that is good for 2 years.  My parents have the kids, the woman who gave us the puppy is dog-sitting for us, so it's like a date weekend for us!  I have a lot of random thoughts right now:

~~There are 200 kids in the (Oregon) foster care system waiting for a forever family at any given moment. Kids are adopted often, but every week about 2 to 10 more children enter that "waiting children" database.

~~In our class there are 23 potential new families for those kids. Hooray for that!

~~When we were going through our toughest point with Noah, I was negative about adopting through the state, adopting an older child, and even though I'd had a heart to do so in the past, I was feeling like I could never handle it again.  Thus the reason we forked out $25,000 (yes!) to adopt our baby Ru. (she is SOOO worth it!!!) We wanted to make sure to get an infant though--as early as we could, so she wouldn't have any "issues."  Lame, huh?  Probably for the timing in our life that was perfect for us though.  Adopting another RAD kid at that time (when we were just learning what RAD was) would have been overwhelming.

~~We've been through the rough stuff with Noah. He still has bad moments, but we've learned how to deal with them.  Going to the class last night & hearing the panel talk made us realize how far he has come!!!  

~~Because we've been through the tough stuff with him and see how hurt these kids are, our hearts are tugged at those kids.  Not that we want to collect children "like shoes," as I heard one mom say, referring to people who adopt a lot of kids (oh my!).  No--we feel like we have the tools now, and we feel like our home is structured enough (every single bulletin for a waiting child says that a "structured" environment is what the kid needs), and we feel like we have the supports in place (an amazing therapist, a yahoo group of moms I can chat with who are *local* so I can even CALL if I need to, etc.).  

~~Personally, I am saddest for the sibling groups. They are not often adopted. People go into this wanting the youngest kid they can get, and only 1.  Those sibling groups are considered "special needs" only because there are 2, or 3, or 6 of them.  So how big of a sibling group would we adopt?  Well, our car can only fit 2 more kids. :)  

~~A lot of people in the class are afraid of "drug babies."  People were talking about heroine not being such an issue because it leaves the system so quickly, but that meth--oh--you don't want a meth kid.  I wouldn't share this in front of my kids, but friends, we've got one of those meth (and heroine) babies (and "some" alcohol--but physical features line up with FAS as well).  When you adopt kids who've been through trauma (note: being separated from birth mom and being in her womb while she lived a troubled, stressed life is already trauma), they will have emotional issues. Honestly, you have no clue what is "drug related" and what's "trauma related." And does it matter?  Does it really matter where the issues came from?  One mom shared that her child who was drug-exposed was born prematurely and had feeding issues. I raised my hand and shared that we have 1 kid who was exposed to meth & heroine and had no physical or developmental issues like that (he's small, that's it!), but we have a bio son (and I didn't use drugs, and I can count the # of drinks I've ever had in my life) who was born premature and had feeding issues.  And I encouraged everyone that "meth babies" aren't as scary as they're made out to be--at least in our experience!!  I hope at least 1 more couple will not steer away from a "meth baby" because I shared that. :)

~~On the panel there was 1 lesbian couple, 1 couple that I'm pretty sure are believers, and 1 single mom.  I was thinking of this--there are people I know and love who would have been sitting there in anger because there was a lesbian couple up there, and maybe even because of a single mom being up there.  This would have ruined the class for them.  I wasn't going to let any of that ruin the class for me. The lesbian couple--yes, they're sinning. Do they know God? Do they know what He says about what they're doing? Do they know they're sinning? I don't know. They're human beings though. They had some pretty thoughtful things to share about adopting from the foster care system. They had a lot of compassion towards these kids. I could listen to them with respect because of that, and let go of the outward sin. I share this, because I think it's too easy as believers to get on a high horse and to lose any respect for people with outward sin...to maybe not even listen to what they have to say (about topics that don't relate to their sexual preference at all!).  I just want to encourage y'all that they're people who have some valid opinions and deserve to be listened to (and listening to them doesn't mean that I agree with their sexual preference). And I ran into one of them as she was coming out of the restroom and I was going in--and I smiled at her. Some might have glared or treated her rudely just because of her outward sin, and I think that's wrong. That's all.

~~And regarding the single mom who adopted. In most cases I am opposed to single parents adopting.  This mom has it together!  Not only that, but the specific child that she adopted had been through so much trauma from all of the males in her life, I think that it is probably perfect for her to have a safe haven without any males. And yes, I can see, maybe having a healthy father would improve that. But this kid was 10, nobody else was wanting to adopt her, and because of her "issues" she could not go to a home with any other children. There was *nothing good* about her in her long bulletin report.  (and usually they sweeten them up--twist words to make the issues not seem as bad as they are).  This woman did a *great* thing in choosing this child. It's hard--she's alone in this--but she is making a *HUGE* impact on this girl's life to give her stability. She would have been passed around from home to home, possibly with single foster moms anyways.  She has a forever mom now!

~~Karry read one of our "homework" assignments while I was talking to my parents about the kids on the phone last night (btw, Isaac lost a tooth at grandma & grandpa's house!!). He told me the gist of it, and I still want to read it.  Basically, it summed up what I read about & wrote about for a term in college.  The feminist movement--women going to work being a regular, "normal" thing--wrecked families. After women went to work, the divorce rate increased like crazy.  After women went to work, children started having more behavioral problems, crime rates eventually went up because of that, etc.  It made a *HUGE* impact on our country.  I am not saying a woman should *never* work. I just think that when a woman has children, it is her God-given job to raise those children and to not pass that off to somebody else.  We have an "I want it" instead of "I need it" culture. Women work because they want a certain brand of clothing or a nicely decorated home or to shop at the organic grocery store instead of the cheapo one.  This is why women choose to have their babies raised by other people, and it's ridiculous!  Anyways, this article said that the feminist movement changed the face of adoption, as well.  It used to be just unwed moms giving up their babies for adoption.  Not anymore.  You know, domestic violence and abuse has increased since the feminist movement, too.  The men aren't right in what they're doing--but I wonder how much of their initial anger is brought on by their independent, prideful, "I don't need you to provide for me" wife?  I'm not saying this is always the case.  Just a thought.  Women don't really feel like they *need* men anymore. Men thrive and blossom when they feel *needed.*  Yup....

~~I have to share something cute Isaac said to me the other day.  He asked if tents are expensive. I said "kind of," and he asked "do I have enough money for a tent?" and I said "no." And he looked sooo disappointed. And he asked, with despair in his voice "where am I going to live when I am a man? I don't have enough money for a house, or a motorhome, or a tent trailer, or a tent. Where am I going to live?"  I hugged him and said "don't worry Isaac, you've got at least 11 more years to figure that out!"  OH he is SO cute! He thinks so hard about "when he's a man." He is a planner, *like I was.* :)  I love, love, love that little guy...

And all of my kiddos! :) It's a little strange to wake up without them!

Ok, off to get ready for the class!  We've got a full day ahead of us!